Real love has come now for Rishi and me, after years of togetherness: Neetu Singh

Their chocolate love story played out from reel to real life and had India enthralled in the '70s. After 37 years of marriage, superstar Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh tell us about love, marriage and friendship.
Rarely do you see a teenage love, especially one played out on celluloid, withstand the pressures of time and unrelenting public glare. This one did. Today, you see the same twinkle in the eyes of Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh as you did those many years ago.It would be too easy to say they were plain lucky. The truth is such things do not happen without weathering storms together, or without a lot of give and take.
'What is romantic love?' scoffs Neetu Singh as she relaxes in her Delhi hotel suite. 'I don't believe in all this dying-for-love, Laila-Majnu stuff. That is just hormonal attraction, which disappears soon. Real love comes later, a love that forgives everything ' as a mother with a child. For Rishi and me, real love has come now after so many years of togetherness. I am totally in love with my husband today ' I look for him everywhere.'
Rishi says if he doesn't see Neetu once he comes home, he gets restless and brings the house down till she emerges. Earlier, he was 'madly in love' with her; today after 37 years of being together, 'I feel blessed to have her in my life.'
Back when they first met, Neetu was barely 13 and Rishi 19. Their affair blossomed later during the shooting of Kabhi Kabhie. 'Bob (Rishi) used to take me out for wine-shine and dinners and I loved all that, and, of course, the idea of being with 'Rishi Kapoor',' confesses Neetu with a reminiscent smile. 'On his part, I guess he liked being with a girl who was receptive and took all his nonsense.'
She still does that. In her 'Afterword' for Rishi's book Khullam Khulla, she calls him a 'grouch', 'loud', 'suspicious', 'stiflingly possessive', and 'difficult to live with', and yet says, 'I cannot, would not, live with any other' because I truly believe that I couldn't have asked for a better man, or indeed a better life, than I've had with him' his good qualities far outnumber his annoying habits.'
Stereotypes seem to have worked beautifully for this family. A husband who by his own admission is 'finicky, impatient and ill-tempered'; a wife who is understanding, loving and shunned work at the peak of her career; children who grew up fearing and respecting their father; a son who carried forth his dad's tradition, and a daughter who has settled down. This isn't a family in denial; they admit their trials, tribulations, and face their demons together.
Neetu states with touching candour in her 'Afterword', 'An actor's wife needs to have a large heart ' I'm sure Bob hasn't been squeaky clean, there must have been a couple of trespasses' Such things happen in most men's lives, and they did happen, but I chose not to give them any importance. They were just fleeting distractions that came and went.'
Rishi says, 'Neetu takes the major share of this pie. I never had to make sacrifices. She took me as I was and has been my best friend and support. Despite ups and downs, we have always been totally in love and can't do without each other. She looks after me and the family with loving care.'
And what did he contribute? Rishi thinks for a moment and says, 'I too accepted Neetu as she was, with minor changes (!). I was never a flirtatious man.' At my raised eyebrows, he explains, 'One can get attracted to another, but I always knew where to draw the line, and that's what matters. I could have given in at a weak moment, but I knew I have a wonderful woman at home and cannot jeopardise that relationship at any cost. I love being with my family, taking them on holidays, and have never worked on a Sunday,' he says.
Neetu smiles when I tell her what he said. 'Oh yes, we love our dinners and holidays ' just the two of us. Friends find it unbelievable but we love being just by ourselves even today.' But it is only in the last 15 years that their relationship has settled and matured, admits Neetu. Rishi has begun to depend more on her. She feels one reason could be that
some of his closest friends are no more. 'Today even across a glass partition I can figure what he is feeling or saying to someone.'
Rishi admits, 'I have matured and mellowed with time but have retained my joi de vivre. I enjoy life, food and drinks and don't believe in having regrets. You can't change or challenge life. I flow with life and love the second phase of my career. The first 25 years of my career they just made me sing romantic songs and run around trees. It is only now that I am getting the meaty roles.' Then after a pause, 'Bas ab Ranbir ki shaadi ho jaani chahiye'
'I don't believe in all this dying-for-love, Laila-Majnu stuff. That is just hormonal attraction, which disappears soon' ' Neetu Singh
An actor's wife needs to have a large heart ' I'm sure Bob hasn't been squeaky clean, there must have been a couple of trespasses 'Neetu Singh
One can get attracted to another, but I always knew where to draw the line, and that's what matters ' Rishi Kapoor